"Sweet dancing monkeys!"

"Don't judge me!"

"Oh the humidity!"

"All three Matrices."

"Here's a fork so you can eat you words!"

"I'd be a Nihilist if it meant anything."

"Patience is just well placed apathy."

"If you don't tell me what you are doing, I'll just have to use my imagination! And nobody wants that!"

"It's always comforting to know that the place you live could be turned into a combat arena."

"I know you are, but what am I?" "Did you just refute my philosophical argument with a Pee-Wee Herman routine?"

"Still waters drown quickest!"

"The odds are you'll end up dead in the gutter after an attempted coup in a third world country." "Yeah, that's the dream."

"I feel like I could eat a whole civilization of tiny people. But I'll settle for a waffle."

"That's the thing about humans. We cheat. A lot."

"That dream where you think you're in a dream, then you wake up and realize it wasn't a dream, but it all ends up being a dream anyway?"

"Monkeys are not a catchphrase. Monkeys are a way of life."

"We'd be curled up in the fetal position, crying our eyes out from the shear joy of existing."

"Any food can have negitive calories. You just have to chew it right."

"Originally, Jeremy Bentham considered calling his theory of the greatest good for the greatest number of people 'happieness-mongering.'"

"Eye-vampire puppies are puppies nonetheless."

"Candy makes life worth living." "What about hope or friendship or...?" "No. Only candy."

"It takes just as long for the bad ones to die. They just don't have anyone to hold them."